Matt McGorry: A man can be a feminist and still be a terrible person to date

Matt McGorry’s becoming a regular Twitter source for discussions on difficult topics. His #AllLivesMatter lesson delivered some overdue smackdowns for trolls. He’s not afraid to anger people, and he’s the first to admit not being an expert on these subjects. He’s very good at explaining his stances, and he puts a lot of thought into any discussion. I still sideeye the “look at me” aspect of how he joined the #FreeTheNip movement on Instagram, but no one is perfect.

McGorry’s a fairly recent convert to feminism. There are times I wonder whether his quick enthusiasm was motivated by a desire to mansplain feminist issues. That’s just natural skepticism, but I think McGorry is still learning (like we all are), and it’s simply awesome that a male celebrity is so enthusiastic for the cause. Pitch Perfect actress Kether Donohue engaged McGorry on Twitter. She asked whether becoming male feminist has affected his dating and “courtship” habits. Here’s what McGorry said in response:

(1) If the alternative is being a misogynist, then absolutely! But it’s probably a bit complicated to put into tweets

(2) I’m sure there are some feminists who have tons of one night stands and some who have never had one at all. So I…

(3) tend to think there’s still a ton of variation in preference. And for someone that only has sex in relationships for..

(4) example, it could either be a comfort necessary for intimacy or that they feel it’s “slutty” to behave otherwise…

(5) The latter being certainly less in line with ideals of feminism (and not judging people for their sexual preferences)

(6) even with the same outcome of not being interested in one night stands. Alternatively, there are some things that I would say preclude

(7) people from being feminists even if they called themselves one. Such as physically abusing or sexually assaulting women. Also worth

(8) noting is that you can be (or identify as) a feminist and STILL be an a**hole or a terrible person to date. And I’m sure the quality of

(9) ones romantic partner is often very related to their self awareness (for me at least). Hopefully calling oneself a feminist comes with

(10) SOME degree of self awareness and how your actions impact others, but I’m sure there’s a great range in there. I like how I said it’d be

(11) complicated to put into tweets but then attempted it anyway. 🙂 Appreciate the great question, let’s discuss more

[From Matt McGorry on Twitter]

I like how McGorry noted that being a male feminist doesn’t automatically make him a “good guy” or a good boyfriend. Every person is different, and every couple varies too. What feminism does for him is help him think critically and respect the choices of his partners, both in the bedroom and otherwise. McGorry’s a good egg, and yeah, I bet he’s at least a decent boyfriend. Another Twitter user asked McGorry for his thoughts on “meninists,” and he was chuffed to provide this answer.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pLHLnpmirJOdxm%2BvzqZmbWtpaYF2e8yaq62XnZi0sL7RspafnZ2eu6q%2FzJibmqyZo7Rw