Crystal Harris on sex with Hugh Hefner: they did it once and it lasted two seconds

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The more Crystal Harris talks, the deeper she digs her own hole. Eariler this week she admitted that she was attracted to Hugh Hefner because of the Playboy lifestyle, the same lifestyle she blamed for breaking up with him. In an interview with Howard Stern yesterday, Harris said that sex with Hef turned her off and that the guy only lasted two seconds. Whatever happened in that moldy old bedroom, that is TMI and it’s not cool to kiss and tell. The guy let her keep the Bentley and the $90k ring. The least she could do is keep his sex secrets. Harris also said that life with Hef was stifling and that he kept a tight rein on her, which she’s spoken of in the past. Here’s more, from Howard Stern’s website:

Sex with Hef: it never really happened
“He doesn’t really take off his clothes. I’ve never seen Hef naked. I don’t know if I want to.”

Crystal said she and Hef only had sex once in their entire relationship: “He’s had so much sex. He’s more about, like, cuddling…touchy-feely kind of stuff.” It lasted just 2 seconds, with Crystal climbing off Hef before he climaxed: “He tried not to take Viagra as much any more because it made him lose his hearing.” The whole scene isn’t half as sexual as you’d think: “There’s baby oil all over the mansion and I don’t understand why.”

How Hef tried to control her
The first year I was there I was able to go on vacation with my family and snowboarding. And the second year I asked to do the same things and got told no…I think he’s insecure. I think he’s always been that way.” Asked what was worse, the sex or the schedule, Crystal shrugged: “The worst part of it was the schedule. I mean, we weren’t that sexual.”

Crystal said she started to feel imprisoned by the schedule: “I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t do anything.” And quickly learned that she actually was a prisoner: “Hef and I had gotten into a small argument. I just needed to breathe–get away. I started to leave and Hef called down to security and said, ‘If Crystal tries to leave, contain her.’”

Details of her prenup
Worse than his rigid rule was Hef’s obsession with old movies: “It’s like the history lesson I never wanted.” Even his bedside proposal was a disaster: “He brings out a ring and hands it to me and says, ‘I hope it fits.’” Crystal’s marriage was really an arrangement: she would’ve collected $800K on the day of the wedding and another 500K for every year she stayed with him. This was on top of her $2K/week cash allowance.

How she got out
Crystal finally snuck away just days before their wedding, waiting until Hef had started the traditional Sunday night movie (the latest X-Men film) and lying to the Mansion staff: “I got my keys and told security that I had to run to the store.” Crystal said her best friend is now Hef’s #1 girlfriend: “I’m not mad at her at all. I know all the reasons why she wants to be there.”

[From Howard Stern]

That’s so mean to make that public, especially to declare that you were never attracted to someone you intended to marry. That just makes Crystal look bad, not Hef. Hef responded very calmly on Twitter to deny Crystal’s claims, but has since deleted the tweets. He did link to this GossipCop recap of what he wrote, though. He tweeted “Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn’t have much to do with reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?” and then later that “The sex with Crystal the first night was good enough so that I kept her over two more nights…. Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don’t know why.” Just as he was on his post-split interview with Piers Morgan, Hef remained very gracious and kind about Crystal despite what she said. He wrote “When I said, ‘I missed a bullet’ when Crystal left, I didn’t mean I didn’t love her. I meant I realized she really didn’t love me.” Hef may be an old perv, but he’s a classy one. I hope Crystal fades away after this. She seemed like a conniving opportunist after she nearly married Hef and then ditched him. Now she seems like a nasty one too.

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Photo credit: WENN.com

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